Monday, 7 November 2011

Bodylanguage Tips

Bodylanguage Tips
1- Always look at someone directly in their eyes when they are speaking to you. This may seem difficult at first but it's definitely the #1 body language ingredient to make you successful when interacting with others. Note: Do not ever stare at someone.

2- Always stand up straight. You never want to slouch. Not only does this make you appear shorter but it projects an image of someone who has low self-esteem.

3- Smile. Smiling is your most powerful body language signal. Though it is not recommended to smile constantly (people will be under the impression you are searching for approval), you should still make an effort to appear happy and optimistic.

4- Do not make repeated, nervous like gestures. When speaking to someone it's important to use body movements but never fast and repetitive ones (picture someone who is nervous while public speaking; this is exactly what you're NOT aiming for).

5- Create your own personal space. Make sure you let others know you have your own personal space and do not let them walk all over you. Note: you never want to invade someone else's personal space.
6- Dedicate all of your attention to the person you are speaking with. Do not constantly look around as if you are uncomfortable or not interested.

7- Make sure to emphasize all of these tips when you meet someone new. First impressions count for a lot. You want to make the best impression you can.



8- Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.

9- Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.

10- Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.

11- Don’t slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.

12- Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.

13- Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.

14- Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap you’re neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.

15- Use your hands more confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around, use them with some control.

16- Lower your drink. Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.

17- Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.

18- Mirror – Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.

19- Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.

You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming.

Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks. By then they should have developed into new habits and something you’ll do without even thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks. Then take another couple of things you’d like to change and work on them.

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