Sunday, 22 January 2012

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Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons






You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash






The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright








First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey








A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold






Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson








Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis






Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis



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  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball



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  • One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)



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  • There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn





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