Procrastination time

The build up to Tuesday, the stress of having to finish projects nearly killed me, I know I left the finishing off to the last minute and that's what caused all the stress and anxiety, but once I finally submitted them I thought I would feel a huge sense of relief but instead I didn't, Frankly I felt a bit faint and like I wanted to throw up. This could of been because I drank two cans of red bull.

It was just an anti climax, maybe I felt I could of done better if I had more time.... I have a terrible problem with procrastinating these days. When time is almost running out for something I can't concentrate anymore I want to do anything but that.

the day before the project was due to be handed in, I went out to my local 2 euro shops searching for something, anything, I bought 2 packs of sour wine gums (2 for 2 euro) I love sour sweets so it was such a great bargain and find for me because sour sweets are almost impossible to find these days and Cherryade, I thought it would give me motivation.

Then I went to the bookshop to browse, and found a new book that I desperately want, but I resisted the temptation because I knew if I bought that I wouldn't do an ounce of college work til I had finished reading it.  So once my exams are finished I am going to treat myself to it.

Rosie Mckinsley- Gypsy Girl

Then I came home tried to finish off my project and ended up doing the hoovering 

Then having a shower 

and then sitting down trying to work on the project.

Then my boyfriend came home and I talked to him for ages and just couldn't find the get up and go to finish off my project. Then the next morning I had to get up early to finish them both off because I knew time was almost up and I had absolutely no choice. 

So today I should of started preparing for my exams. I have one exam on the 3rd of May and one on the 7th of May. also I have a presentation on in June for my summer school, its about Japanese and Korean trade unions, employment systems, the state.

I decided to research that instead of study. I don't know why, probably because its more interesting than knuckling down and trying to understand International financial Management which I feel is a lost cause and Global competitive strategies is appealing but I just couldn't get myself started.

I just feel like I am having a mental block, maybe I am distracted, or worried, our application submition date is looming on us, we literally only have one more thing to get and were good to go. (even the one more thing we have to do, i don't want to do, I have to ask the neighbour to sign a letter for us and lately I have had mixed feelings about them, there hot and cold) once we submit the application, we face a 3 month wait and then hey presto we never have to think about it ever again. If it all goes well of course.

I also learned something else this week, I really hate being the stay at home person in a relationship. I don't think I will ever be able to be a full time stay at home mom. 

Up until recently my boyfriend has only been working part time. I used to go to college in the morning and find him waiting for me at night when I got home. I got used to that routine and now hes working full time again and now I am the one saying good bye to him in the morning and waiting for him to come home in the evening.  I never realized how hard it was on him. when he sometimes said don't go I will miss you I always brushed it off, he was just being needy.

It sucks. I know its only temporarily until my summer school begins and then I will be in college 9-5 everyday. 

Another dilemma has occurred my ex boyfriend has asked to study with me in my new college, because its closer to his home than our old college and I didn't have the heart to say no.  Now I am not sure if I want to study with him and I don't like waiting for a text from him saying hey lets go and study together today. 

I don't know what to do. I feel like a burst balloon.

Food Glorious food!

All my life I have always been a picky eater, and never really a good eater, when I was growing up, I was always the last person to be allowed to leave the table sometimes my mom would sit with me for several hours waiting for me to finish, Even these days I am absolutely always having to scrape my plate. Because I rarely finish a whole plate, Unless its something I really like, for example Lasagna, or spaghetti Bologna or my moms Chicken and Broccoli pie which I love! 

I have never figured out the reason for this, Do I just hate food? or get bored? or now its a habit that's ingrained in me and if i do finish a whole plate I feel weird?

When I first told my mom that I was planing to go to China, her first reaction was what about the food?? You have got to become less fussy. In her eyes I am the most fussy and undaring person in terms of food.  But in my opinion when you put the food i don't like into perspective, OK I don't like say 5 different things there thousands of other alternatives to be explored.

Here's the list of things I don't like

1 Tomatoes

 This looks delicious

A tomato dress

  So cute

Tomato Juice

However weirdly enough I like Tomato Ketchup, Tomato Soup, Pizza etc

2 Coleslaw

 My reason for not liking Coleslaw is based purely on the look and the smell. My boyfriend is determined to make me like Cole slaw, He has promised to make home made Cole Slaw, As the only Cole slaw I have seen has all been bought ready made from the Supermarket

3 Orange Juice

 Admittedly, I don't hate all types of Orange juices, but I especially don't like ones with bits in it, Like the Squeez

4 Pigs Feet

Most Chinese food I try I like but this one  I Tried it, Tasted it, horrible, Just felt really disgusting

5  Scrambled eggs

 ewww looks like slop to me,

6 Hard boiled eggs

7 Quiche

The main reason I don't like Quiches is because there are often tomatoes in it and it tastes like scrambled eggs

8 Salad

Actually I like Salads as long as they exclude Tomatoes, I especially like fruit salads

9 Spicy food

 

This has probably caused me the most trouble in terms of eating Chinese food, However its not the be all and end all. Now if I didn't like Fish then that would be a major problem since thats my boyfriend's favourite. Although I am not a huge fan of fish soup :\ normally I like fish and sea food.

10. Turkish delights

11 Jam

 Most people I know love Jam, but to me it just looks sloppy and messy and gooey. This limits me a lot in terms of desserts. But I don't care, I just won't have it

12  Olives

Possibly the worst thing i ever tasted in my entire life! In China people eat sugary olives as a sweet.  Mental!

My list of food that I don't like or am not terribly fond of used to be a lot longer.. But my boyfriend has converted me starting with 

1. Mayonnaise

The smell used to really put me off and the look of it. When I first moved in with my boyfriend (as I mentioned before he's a chef) He made home made burgers and we went to the supermarket and he bought tomato ketchup and then asked what type of mayonnaise I'd like? I was to embarrassed to say I don't link that... and picked out a garlic mayonnaise. I do love garlic. and surprise surprise after the first try I wanted to have garlic mayonnaise with everything. Sausages, potatoes, chicken, chips, wraps etc.

2 Blue cheese

Before  Me and my boyfriend had our Cooking Bonanza I found out I actually like blue cheese regardless of the smell.

3 Parsnips

 I love fried Parsnips!!

4. Mushrooms

However there has always been one constant thing that I have loved... Sweets!! Especially sour sweets. 

Anyway the other night I had a craving for sour sweets at around 9pm and I discovered that all shops in Bray have stopped selling them