What's next?

I handed in my last two assignments on Wednesday afternoon, One was a book review and i swear to god, it nearly killed me. I hadn't written one since I was in primary school and that was probably only on a short little children's novel. But this weeks one was on an Academic book of about 500 pages.

I stupidly only started it on Monday, definitely cutting it short. I spent Monday and Tuesday in the library from 11-5 both days. Mainly because of a huge Library fee that I am trying to avoid paying.

What happens to a library fees after you finish college? does it just keep going up and up and then they eventually come to your house like a loan shark and start taking away your stuff? or will it just disapear like my student number when I am no longer a student?

Anyway I spent Monday doing everything else except the book review, I listened to music, texting I went on facebook, I checked emails, I went on ebay, I researched hotels in cork :) On Monday we are going on a short trip to Cork to celebrate me finishing college, Does anybody know anything interesting to do in cork?

So basically Monday was completing unproductive and full of procrastination, then on Tuesday I finally settled down and got somewhere and thank god I was able to hand it in on Wednesday ^^

After I handed it in I had to rush like a mad woman to catch my bus and make it back to Bray for my Brothers, girlfriends Debs before party at her house (for all my American readers the Debs or the Debutant Ball if you like is the Irish prom )

heres me in my Debs dress with my sister ~!

Me with my date lol

Me and my date at the other Debs~

I loved my dresses especially the pink one I wanted to be a princess, the only thing i was missing was a tiara.

Anyway enough about me the real centre of attention should be Katie my brothers girlfriend she looked gorgeous, and my brother didn't scrub up to badly haha! here are some photos

 Me, My mom, my brother, Katie (Brothers girlfriend) and my sister

 

The movie star pose~~!!

I think going to the debs with a boyfriend is a lot more enjoyable than going with a random guy friend you don't know to well. Like what I did I wish I could go back and time and bring my now boyfriend >.<

I will end this with the big question on everyone's lips, What now? Degree, Masters complete. Time to enter the big bad world.

What was I thinking

Last Sunday when I met my Malaysian friend Danny, he gave me a job, and naturally thinking with my purse and definitely not my arms, accepted it with open arms lol. The job is to be a program seller in the Aviva Stadium during the Football festival which started yesterday.

Seriously don't know what poessessed me to take this job, like what my brother said last night "out of all the possible jobs this would be the last one that I would think you are suitable for" obviously he had great confidence in me lol.

Well to be honest I could see what he was getting at, I am not naturally a very loud person. Most people usually describe me as a quiet gently spoken person. I kind of lack the agressive features needed to sell programme books. But never the less I thought I would give it my best try and be as loud as possible.

As a matter of fact being loud enough was the least of my worries. The main problem I had was carrying the bloody programmes. they weighed a bloody ton. Worst experience of my life carrying that heavy bag/ box around.

There were 2 matches on each day. For the first match Airtricity vs Manchester city we were positioned in the worst position ever for selling and we decided we would try to move and that required having to try and shift the bag from one side of the stadium to the other. Only to be told when we got there to turn around and go back to our original positions. I wanted to die.

Airtricity vs Manchester city

Then we went back and didn't sell one programme as a matter of fact hardly a soul pasted us. The problem was our first position was actually in the stadium and there were already sellers outside the stadium so by the time they had got to us they had already bought a programme.

luckily after the match we were reassigned to a new location outside wahoo!!! which was great and I managed to sell 50 programme books I was paid on commission so its 5% per book and each book cost 5 euro. However when I went back after they gave me 20 euro which was a bit odd but nevertheless I was happy lol.

When I got home my arms were so sore. I was really debating about whether or not to go again the next day, when my friend danny text me and told me he found a wheelbarrow in his shed and is going to bring it tommorrow so we don't have to carry the heavy bags lol!!!!  what a sight we will be lol! I may take photos tommorrrow lol

Day 2 continued in the next post :)

Procrastination time

The build up to Tuesday, the stress of having to finish projects nearly killed me, I know I left the finishing off to the last minute and that's what caused all the stress and anxiety, but once I finally submitted them I thought I would feel a huge sense of relief but instead I didn't, Frankly I felt a bit faint and like I wanted to throw up. This could of been because I drank two cans of red bull.

It was just an anti climax, maybe I felt I could of done better if I had more time.... I have a terrible problem with procrastinating these days. When time is almost running out for something I can't concentrate anymore I want to do anything but that.

the day before the project was due to be handed in, I went out to my local 2 euro shops searching for something, anything, I bought 2 packs of sour wine gums (2 for 2 euro) I love sour sweets so it was such a great bargain and find for me because sour sweets are almost impossible to find these days and Cherryade, I thought it would give me motivation.

Then I went to the bookshop to browse, and found a new book that I desperately want, but I resisted the temptation because I knew if I bought that I wouldn't do an ounce of college work til I had finished reading it.  So once my exams are finished I am going to treat myself to it.

Rosie Mckinsley- Gypsy Girl

Then I came home tried to finish off my project and ended up doing the hoovering 

Then having a shower 

and then sitting down trying to work on the project.

Then my boyfriend came home and I talked to him for ages and just couldn't find the get up and go to finish off my project. Then the next morning I had to get up early to finish them both off because I knew time was almost up and I had absolutely no choice. 

So today I should of started preparing for my exams. I have one exam on the 3rd of May and one on the 7th of May. also I have a presentation on in June for my summer school, its about Japanese and Korean trade unions, employment systems, the state.

I decided to research that instead of study. I don't know why, probably because its more interesting than knuckling down and trying to understand International financial Management which I feel is a lost cause and Global competitive strategies is appealing but I just couldn't get myself started.

I just feel like I am having a mental block, maybe I am distracted, or worried, our application submition date is looming on us, we literally only have one more thing to get and were good to go. (even the one more thing we have to do, i don't want to do, I have to ask the neighbour to sign a letter for us and lately I have had mixed feelings about them, there hot and cold) once we submit the application, we face a 3 month wait and then hey presto we never have to think about it ever again. If it all goes well of course.

I also learned something else this week, I really hate being the stay at home person in a relationship. I don't think I will ever be able to be a full time stay at home mom. 

Up until recently my boyfriend has only been working part time. I used to go to college in the morning and find him waiting for me at night when I got home. I got used to that routine and now hes working full time again and now I am the one saying good bye to him in the morning and waiting for him to come home in the evening.  I never realized how hard it was on him. when he sometimes said don't go I will miss you I always brushed it off, he was just being needy.

It sucks. I know its only temporarily until my summer school begins and then I will be in college 9-5 everyday. 

Another dilemma has occurred my ex boyfriend has asked to study with me in my new college, because its closer to his home than our old college and I didn't have the heart to say no.  Now I am not sure if I want to study with him and I don't like waiting for a text from him saying hey lets go and study together today. 

I don't know what to do. I feel like a burst balloon.

Sometimes you just need a good cry

Too be honest I have always been a terribly weepy person, (especially at that time of the month...) When I was in Secondary School I always used to cry in French class,

Especially in second and third year. My teacher Ms. M, hated me or that's what I thought. Basically anytime I hadn't done my homework or I had forgotten my homework copy my teacher used to scream at me and make me feel extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. Then I would ball my eyes out.

I remember one time I left my homework copybook in my locker and she came down to my locker and took everything out of my locker and tidied my locker for me and took my copybook to correct. Everyone around me thought it was hilarious.

But I will never forget the time when we were discussing transition year in French class and I said categorically "I am not doing it" another 5 other students also stated they were not doing it. But at the end of class she said in front of everyone "Sarah will you stay back, I want to talk to you" I was freaked out, did I forget to hand up some homework???

But no!! She wanted to tell me how stupid I am for deciding to not to Transition year, Stating I am to young, too immature,

It will be the biggest mistake I will ever make, asking Have you talked to your parents? Anyway she made me feel so small.

When I told my Mom she was fuming, How dare she try to meddle into my personal choices. The thing that bothered me was that half some of the other students in my french class who were skipping transition year were younger than me... and she didn't embarrass them or question them..

Perhaps some people reading this will agree with Ms. M and say Transition year was the best year ever and that I made a huge mistake not doing it... but my brother did it and although he loved the first half of the year with the musical, trips and all that Jazz but the second half of the year was totally half arsed and he hated going to school because they literally weren't doing anything everyday, free classes are no use when you don't get any homework in anything...So no I don't regret it at all.

Another thing that makes or has made me cry is Jacqueline Wilson books, I remember being on a flight from Spain to Ireland when I was 10 or 11 years old and sobbing the whole way back, people on the plane must of thought I was so devastated to be coming back to Ireland...

I cried when my ex boyfriend told me that his ex girlfriend had cheated on him. I felt really really sad  I think I crossed the line between sympathetic and over sympathetic....

Anyway my most recent cry came today when I was reading a book called "Room" It's got to be the most saddest book I have read in along time. I was reading it at the apartment last night whilst waiting for my boyfriend to get home and was sobbing away when my boyfriend came in the door... He thought someone had died

My boyfriend cried twice at the cinema, The first time was when we watched Love and other drugs and the second time when we watched Guilivers travels. It was quite funny, he is so cute!!

But the thing I hate most when I'm crying is when someone gets angry and starts giving out to me for crying and complaining that I am embarrassing them. My ex boyfriend used to do this. He used to fight with me a lot and sometimes I ended up crying on the street or on the train or the bus. The last time I cried in public was the day me and my boyfriend went to the second solicitor.